Comparing “More About Alcoholism” to the original manuscript for our Basic Text
Comparison Format — Colors appear here only and are — — not used in the actual comparisons. — Words above brackets are from the pre-publication version. < Bracketed copy is from our Basic Text as it reads today. > ~ Format Examples ~Rarely have we < RARELY HAVE WE > seen a person fail who has thoroughly directions followed our < path >...~ ~ ~Now we think you can take it! < — — — — — > Here are the steps we took...~ ~ ~11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our — — — — — — < conscious > contact with God < as we understood Him >...~ ~ ~
Chapter 3 < Chapter 3 > MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISMMost of us < MOST OF US > have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday liquor he will control and enjoy his < > drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. We learned that we had to fully concede to our inner- most selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, had or presently may be, < has > to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real ever recovered this alcoholic < ever recovers > control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such inter- vals – usually brief – were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incompre- hensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of
31
our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable
remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery,
followed always by < a > still worse relapse. Physicians
who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such
thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.
evidently
Science may one day accomplish this, but it < >
hasn't done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics
are not going to believe they are in that class. By every
form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try
to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore
non-alcoholic ,
< nonalcoholic >. If anyone < > who is showing inability
,
to control his drinking < > can do the right-about-face and
drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven
knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink
like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried:
drinking
< Drinking > beer only, limiting the number of drinks,
never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning,
drinking only at home, never having it in the house,
never drinking during business hours, drinking only at
parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only
natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the
job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off
forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more
physical exercise, reading inspirational books,
consulting psychologists,
< > going to health farms and
sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums –
we could increase the list ad infinitum.
brand
We do not like to < pronounce > any individual as
an
< > alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.
Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled
drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it
32
more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if
will
you are honest with yourself about it. It < may > be worth
thoroughly sold on the
a bad case of jitters if you get < a full knowledge >
idea that you are a candidate for Alcoholics Anonymous!
< of your condition. >
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that
early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped
drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have
enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have
heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite
signs of alcoholism, were able to stop < for a long period >
to
because of an overpowering desire to < do > so. Here is one.
A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking.
He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and
quieted himself with more liquor. He was ambitious to succeed
in business, but saw that he would get nowhere if he drank at
all. Once he started, he had no control whatever. He made up
his mind that until he had been successful in business and had
retired, he would not touch another drop. An exceptional man,
,
he remained bone dry for twenty-five years < > and retired at
the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business
career. Then he fell victim to a belief which practically
every alcoholic has – that his long period of sobriety and
self-discipline had qualified him to drink as other men. Out
came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two months he was
in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried to regulate
his drinking for a while, making several trips to the hospital
meantime. Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to
,
stop < altogether > and found he could not. Every means of
solving his problem which
33
money could buy was at his disposal. Every attempt failed.
Though a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly
,
< > and was dead within four years.
This case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us have
believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we
could thereafter drink normally. But here is a man who at
fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off
at thirty. We have seen the truth demonstrated again and
once
again: "< Once > an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."
Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in
a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop
drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor
any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Young people may be encouraged by this man's experience
to think that they can stop, as he did, on their own will
power. We doubt if many of them can do it, because none
will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of
the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can
-five
win out. Several of our crowd, men of thirty < > or
but
less, had been drinking < only > a few years, but they found
themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty
years.
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have
,
to drink a long time < > nor take the quantities some of
us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential
feminine
< female > alcoholics often turn into the real thing and
are gone beyond recall in a few years. Certain drinkers,
alcoholic
who would be greatly insulted if called < alcoholics >, are
astonished at their inability to stop. We, who are familiar
with the symptoms, see large numbers of potential alcoholics
among young
34
people everywhere. But try and get them to see it!
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many
years beyond the point where we could quit on our will power.
If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous
area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year. If he
is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant
chance of success. In the early days of our drinking we
occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming
serious drinkers again later. Though you may be able to
stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential
alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can
stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day
after making their resolutions; most of them within a few
weeks.
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question
is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that
the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit
non-spiritual somewhat upon the
upon a < nonspiritual > basis depends < >
strength of his character, and how much he really wants to
< >
be done with it. But even more will it depend
< > upon the ex-
tent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether
he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of
character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet
we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alco-
holism as we know it – this utter inability to leave it alone,
no matter how great the necessity or the wish.
How then shall we help our readers determine, to their
own satisfaction, whether they are one of us? The experiment
of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we
think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic
,
sufferers < > and perhaps to the medical
35
fraternity. So we shall describe some of the mental states
that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is
the crux of the problem.
What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats
time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink?
Friends who have reasoned with him after a spree which has
,
brought him to the point of divorce or bankruptcy < > are
are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon. Why
does he? Of what is he thinking?
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This
man has a charming wife and family. He inherited a lucrative
automobile agency. He had a commendable World War record.
He is a good salesman. Everybody likes him. He is an
intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for
a nervous disposition. He did no drinking until he was
thirty-five. In a few years he became so violent when
intoxicated that he had to be committed. On leaving the
asylum he came into contact with us.
We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we
had found. He made a beginning. His family was reassembled,
and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had
lost through drinking. All went well for a time, but he
failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation,
he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession.
On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing
carefully what had happened. He agreed he was a real alco-
holic and in < a > serious condition. He knew he faced
another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he
would lose his family for whom he had < a > deep affection.
36
Yet he got drunk again. We asked him to tell us
exactly how it happened. This is his story: "I came to work
on Tuesday morning. I remember I felt irritated that I had
to be a salesman for a concern I once owned. I had a few
words with the boss, but nothing serious. Then I decided to
drive into the country and see one of my prospects for a car.
On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place
where they have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I
just thought I would get a sandwich. I also had the notion
that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which
,
was familiar < > for I had been going to it for years. I had
eaten there many times during the months I was sober. I sat
down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk.
Still no thought of drinking. I ordered another sandwich and
decided to have another glass of milk.
Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were
< Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were >
to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk, it couldn't hurt
< to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt >
me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it
< me on a full stomach. I ordered a whiskey and poured it >
into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not being any too
< into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not being any too >
smart, but felt reassured, as I was taking the whiskey
< smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey >
on a full stomach.
< on a full stomach. > The experiment went so well that
I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk.
That didn't seem to bother me so I tried another."
on
Thus started < one > more journey to the asylum for
Jim. Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family
and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and
physical suffering which drinking always caused him.
He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic.
< He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. >
Yet all reasons for not drinking were
< Yet all reasons for not drinking were >
37
easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that
< easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that >
he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!
< he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk! >
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be,
we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of
proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called
anything else?
not-
You may think this an extreme case. To us it is < not >
far fetched
< far-fetched >, for this kind of thinking has been character-
our group. Some of us
istic of every single one of < us. We > have
,
sometimes reflected more than Jim did < > upon the conse-
quences. But there was always the curious mental phenome-
,
non < > that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevi-
tably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first
drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The
insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all
earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.
In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to
get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger,
worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this
type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justifi-
cation for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of
what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink
deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious
,
or effective thought during the period of premeditation < >
of what the terrific consequences might be.
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with
respect to the first drink as that of an individual with
a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of
skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys
himself < for > a few years in spite of friendly warnings.
Up to this point you would label him as a foolish
38
,
chap < > having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him
and he is slightly injured several times in succession.
You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out.
Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured
,
skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital < >
a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you
he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few
weeks he breaks both legs.
On through the years this conduct continues, accom-
panied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep
off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer
,
work, his wife gets a divorce < and > he is held up to
ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jay-
walking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an
asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes
out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks
his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous.
But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have
to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking,
the illustration would fit us exactly. However intelligent
we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been
involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong
language – but isn't it true?
Some of you are thinking: "Yes, what you tell us is
true, but it doesn't fully apply. We admit we have some
of these symptoms, but we have not gone to the extremes
you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand
ourselves so well after what you have told us that such
things cannot happen again. We have not lost everything
in life through drinking and we
39
certainly do not intend to. Thanks for the information."
non-alcoholic
That may be true of certain < nonalcoholic > people who,
though drinking foolishly and heavily at the present time,
are able to stop or moderate, because their brains and bodies
warped and degenerated
have not been < damaged > as ours were. But
the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception,
absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of
will be < absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of >
self-knowledge.
< self-knowledge. > This is a point we wish to emphasize
and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers
as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. Let
us take another illustration.
Fred is partner in a well known accounting firm. His
income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and
is
the father of promising children of college age. He < has >
so attractive a personality that he makes friends with every-
one. If there ever was a successful business man, it is Fred.
To all appearance he is a stable, well balanced individual.
Yet, he is alcoholic. We first saw Fred about a year ago in
a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of
jitters. It was his first experience of this kind, and he
was much ashamed of it. Far from admitting he was an alco-
holic, he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his
nerves. The doctor intimated strongly that he might be worse
than he realized. For a few days he was depressed about his
condition. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether.
It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in
spite of his character and standing. Fred would not believe
himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for
his problem. We told him
40
< what we knew > about alcoholism. He was interested and
conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long
way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself.
He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the
knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of
his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.
We heard no more of Fred for a while. One day we were
told that he was back in the hospital. This time he was
quite shaky. He soon indicated he was anxious to see us.
The story he told is most instructive < , > for here was a
chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had
no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and
determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his
back nevertheless.
Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with
but
what you fellows said about alcoholism, < and > I frankly
did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again.
somewhat
I < rather > appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity
which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could
not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was
not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been
and
usually successful in licking my other personal < > prob-
lems, < and > that I would therefore be successful where you
men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident,
that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power
and keeping on guard.
"In this frame of mind, I went about my business and
for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks,
and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work
of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present
some accounting evidence to
41
a government bureau. I had been out of town before during
this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about
that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any
pressing problems or worries. My business came off well,
I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was
the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.
"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner.
As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought
< As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought >
came to mind it would be nice to have a couple
< came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple >
cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more.
< cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. >
I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another
cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I
returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine
before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one.
I remember having several more that night and plenty next
morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being
in an airplane bound for New York, < and > of finding a
friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of
my wife. The driver escorted me about for several days.
,
I know little of where I went < > or what I said and did.
its
Then came the hospital with < > unbearable mental and
physical suffering.
"As soon as I regained my ability to think, I went
Not only had
carefully over that evening in Washington. < Not only had >
I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against
< I been off guard, I had made no fight whatever against >
that first drink. This time I had not thought of the
< the first drink. This time I had not thought of the >
consequences at all.
< consequences at all. > I had commenced to drink as
carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale. I now
remembered what my alcoholic friends had told me, how they
phophesied
< prophesied > that if I had an alcoholic mind, the time
and place would come – I would drink
42
again. They had said that though I did raise a defense,
it would one day give way before some trivial reason for
having a drink. Well, just that did happen and more, for
what I had learned of alcoholism did not occur to me at all.
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I
saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in
those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able
to understand people who said that a problem had them hope-
lessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.
"Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to
see me. They grinned, which I didn't like so much, and
then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were
really licked this time. I had to concede both propositions.
medical
They piled on me heaps of < > evidence to the effect
that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in
Washington, was a hopeless condition. They cited cases
out of their own experience by the dozen. This process
snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could
do the job myself.
"Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program
of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully.
Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals
were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program
of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic.
It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions
out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I
made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the
curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved,
as in fact it proved to be.
"Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual
principles would solve all my problems. I have since
43
been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying
and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My
old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would
not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now.
I would not go back to it even if I could."
Fred's story speaks for itself. We hope it strikes home
to thousands like him. He had only felt the first nip of the
wringer. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled
before they really commence to solve their problems.
Most
< Many > doctors and psychiatrists agree with our
conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-
renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some
of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of
the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct.
As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is
no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from
Divine
< divine > help. Had you offered yourselves as patients
at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been
able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking.
Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for
the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most
cases, there is virtually no other solution."
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no
effective mental defense against the first drink. Except
in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being
can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a
Higher Power.
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